I Feel Vagely Offended...

[Via] And Death Smiled...

Cheng Fei

I've seen a lot of reviews of this work, but I think Coilhouse said it best:

Like cherubs stuffed to their breaking point, Cheng Fei’s figures revel in vice. Their corpulent bodies, drenched in lust and gluttony, roil and roll on the canvas. Faceless, save for collagen plumped pornstar lips, their appendages have ballooned and bloated so that they are nigh unrecognizable. Incapable of seeing, hearing, or smelling they can only imbibe and consume, feeding their own, selfish desires. Some, their skins forced beyond the confines of their elasticity, split asunder, revealing a beautiful and ghastly store of jeweled offal; strings of pearly entrails; the digested result of their hedonism which, even in death, they claw at.

In other words, creepy as hell. 

P.S.: I forgot to queue up the photos for Tuesday, so today you get two posts for the price of one!

My Birthday and Dances of Vice

Photo of Rococo rockstar Prince Poppycock by P. S. Zollo

So my birthday is coming up soon.

How soon? Supposedly, the closer you were born to November 1st, the more perverted you are.

Now, I've always wanted a huge birthday. Elephants, naked slaves, the works. And I think I've finally found the right venue: Dances of Vice. This November they're having A Grand Shipwreck Ball, where apparently hundreds of people dress up like 19th century noble(wo)men and dance and drink the night away. I'd come to NYC, crash on my long-suffering friend's sofa and stay out until dawn wearing out shoes. However, I currently have neither mermaid costume nor extra cash, and I wonder if any Grand Ball, no matter how large or resplendant, will live up to my own dreams of Sadian splendor. 

Which brings us to the slightly cheaper option, which differs not at all from the first plan except that instead of going to a dance, I have a party involving sex. Perhaps a birthday orgy involving some of my favorite NYC perverts? It's been a long time since I've been in the City of Sex, and I'm not sure if anyone will want to come. ;)

 What do you think, peeps? Should I buy the tickets to the Ball now, giving the finger to any future work schedule I might have and hoping I'll find a costume in the next month? Should I instead make plans with my fellow perverts to have wild sex? Or is there a third option I have not considered?

Nice View

[Via] Chagrin

There's a link to who took this photo, one Mireia, but that's not enough for once, because she doesn't have any more information as to why she took it. I'd like to know, though, 'cuz I'm curious if she had the same motive for taking it as I do for posting it here. 

Plus Size Erotica: You're Doing It Wrong

Boobies and cupcakes done much better by corkaborka77.

If you like to read or write about sex on the internet, there's a good chance you've heard about Ravenous Romance. I don't actually know much about their performance as a company, but when I heard they had put out a new novel featuring food and a plus size woman I was all "yay!!!"--until I realized I was reading about it on weepingcock. It's an LJ community where people post the best worst porn they can find.

Ravenous Romance's description for Handsome and Petal sounds like the next hot show on the Food Network, but in reality it's some of the stickiest, schmoopiest stuff I've ever seen. It might even give you a yeast infection:

“Lily, my Petal,” Brody said.

She caressed his cheek, which showed a wonderfully scruffy layer of five o’clock shadow.

“Yes, Handsome?”

“You’re more beautiful than a plate of homemade brownies, hotter than hot fudge, more sinful than cinnamon.” Lily blushed. His cock ached in response to the redness on her cheeks. Brody imagined similar color rising on other destinations across her gloriously sexy plus-size form."

The poster, arionhunter, comments, And now, it's time for sex. Food sex. Involving what else but whipped cream? (Once, just once, I want to see a man's "meat" covered in A1 sauce.)

As he watched her movements, feeling like he was floating on a giant cake, she raised a candy cane to her plump lips and teasingly performed oral sex on it. Then Lily hooked the cane around Brody’s straining cock and pulled his thickness into her mouth.

'Hunter explains the symbolism behind this gesture: Y'see, the really fun part about this is that as a kid, every Christmas I was told the story of how the candy cane symbolizes Jesus. I can't wait for my Sunday School teachers to add the part about how "the hard end of the cane symbolizes Jesus's erect penis, ready to be fellatiated, then perform frottage."

I have nothing more to say.

“A woman’s appetite is twice that of a man’s; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times.”

Those Sanskrits were on to something, though not everyone agrees.

Turn Ons

bad twin, originally uploaded by Photos Parfait.

Pretty much this whole area is what I dream about.