Why I Don't Google My Fetish Very Much

You'd think that in my endless quest for porn, acceptance, and a local feedee, I'd be constantly typing "feederism" into Google. You might understand why I don't when I show you some highlights from my last foray into the search results:

The idea of feederism disgusts me.

-- from Fattie Gossip

It's remarkably similar to chronic domestic violence, where someone attempting to escape the clutches of the abuser often winds up back in the same situation -- to be abused again.

--from here.

This is actually one of the most well-written articles I have found about my fetish in general, and it often turns up in the first few pages of any web search involving feederism. It neatly outlines all my problems with the way feederism is usually portrayed--it seems too bound up with shame about body image and has little concern for reality--but then ends with the extrapolation that the only ending of any feeder/feedee relationship is for the feedee to die. People, I just want to feed a nice boy an ice cream sundae every now and then, OK? I have limits.

My intention is not merely to inform, but to foster mockery, derision, and disgust.

-- from a fitness forum(!)

Again, this article highlights a lot of the things I don't like about feederism (what is the deal with immobility?) but it uses some of the nastiest fat-hating, anti-kink language I've ever seen to get the point across. It's very long, and even I didn't read the whole thing. To get the gist of it, you really just need to read the title. 

He probably thinks it is a no0rmal way for a man to behave.

-- from here

Even in the absence of a phallus, men are central to the eroticized dominance and submission that’s performed in feeding pornography.

-- from Bitch Magazine

I think this is article is pretty awesome, actually, but if you don't understand why that quote makes me hot under the collar, you haven't been reading this blog very long.

The thing is, often I agree with the opinions expressed here. Feederism on the web is nothing but extremes, and like most mainstream porn, it's almost entirely male-oriented. I hardly ever see what I personally think of as hot, responsible, or even slightly realistic...but nevertheless, this is what most reliably turns me on. Unless I'm writing my own porn, the result of this paradox is that while trying to get off, I'm more often pissed off.

Long story short, I'm tired of being thought of as insane, irresponsible, disgusting, or incapable of being attracted to anyone under 300 lbs. What can I do to change this?

_____

Oh, and just for the hell of it: "Feederism has nothing to do with birds."