In Which Jaime Chastises Me for My Neglect

Jaime was supposed to stay in New York a week with his new BBW love, Candy. Thus I was quite surprised to see his name pop up on Yahoo yesterday.

ME: Hi?

JAIME: Yes, unfortunately: "hi, sweet sister."

ME: Didn't make it, huh?

JAIME: Good help is so hard to find these days.. *glares*

ME: I don't know why you couldn't find a hostel... I refused to hold Jaime's hand, no matter what situation he had gotten himself into through his own negligence. But instead I was surprised:

JAIME: I did. 16 times. All booked. I arrived an hour late, due to the bus running into traffic...that right there skewered our Conney Island chances. My stomach was roiling, and in fact did not get better until today--

ME: Wait, are you in New York [now or not]?

He cursed my stupidity.

JAIME: I called you at 6...30...AM...From...New...York! The girl was right beside me! I hadn't had sleep, hadn't had a shower, and hadn't eaten. It annoyed me that you hung up on me because of my desperate...perhaps angry tones...because I got you up from your warm sweet bed while I was resting on subway benches! (He reflected ruefully.) ..and beginning to smell a bit. *frowns* I had such empathy for homeless people by the end, that I gave one my 25 dollar metro unlimited.

He must have been quite moved indeed--generosity from Jaime doesn't happen often. Feeling contrite, I explained to him that I didn't even fully remember him calling me--I had almost missed my own college graduation for this unfortunate habit of not becoming fully conscious before 8am.

JAIME: Your subconscious is a real bitch. :) I informed her so with a lovely message I hope you got.

I told him that I indeed had, and he was mollified. He promised to tell me the story of his short stay in New York, of his meeting with the pretty BBW Candy, and the things that they did there--which involved quite a few trips to Wendy's. So sit back, relax, and allow the Valiant Bastard to tell his story...in his own words.