In Which Jaime is Admired and Discovers He Has Morals

If you've been following along, you'll know that Jaime recently went on a trip to NYC to meet his new BBW love, Candy. He told me the whole story one night, and now I'm sharing it with you.

Previously, Jaime and Candy had been unable to find a hostel or a cheap hotel to stay in. Now they were on the streets of New York at 4am:

Jaime:So we talked about various things and she said she only smokes like this when stressed...and was chain smoking my cloves. She said, "You know, you've completely ruined our first night, I hope you know that, and you should tell Molly that too." [She wore] a wry grin.

I laughed and said, "I know, this isn't the first time I've completely blundered up a night in New York. I never intend to, I'm just ill fated it seems." And I went on to say, "Molly will eat that kind of juicy story up, how Jaime the gallant fool fucked up everything," and sneered. I then told Candy, "I think part of it is, you may have noticed I can't remember much, or focus." And she nodded and smirked and I said, "Its not my fault, see, I have the medicine for it, but I haven't taken it yet because its been making me even more ill past few days."

She rubbed my back and said she's sorry if she was hard on me and played with my hair, going, "Why is your hair so perfect... why is it so soft, only women have hair like this!"

And I raised an eyebrow and went, "Like...you?"

Her hair was frizzy and she blushed going, "I hate this frizzy hair!"

I said, "Aww," and smiled at her and said, "Want to know my big secret? Pantine," and grinned.

She laughed and went, "...I use Pantine."

And I was silent and sat still unlaughing and said, "Your hair looks full and dark, it's beautiful, if you're really that worried, get it straightened at one of those places."

She kept doing that: comparing me to women! "Your hands are so soft...you really have a way with them...they're kind of like a woman's!"

I sneered and went, "I abhor manual labor sweetie--I'd much rather exercise my mind."

And at McDonald's the next day, she stared in amazement into my eyes and went, "What color are your eyes? I've never seen eyes like those."

I stared back and smirked and went, "Icy blue."

She shook her head in amazement and looked away, "They're so beautiful..." she whispered and then added, ruining the compliments, "You're as gorgeous as a woman..."

To which I sneered and said, "That's what happens when you have an extremely beautiful mother... " and folded my arms.

She went, "Aawwww" and hugged me.

Molly: I think she would have used a different word [than woman] had she seen your dick!

Jaime's dick is ten inches long. Have I mentioned that before in this blog? Perhaps I should have.

Jaime: No, but she felt it. I told her back in the motel that my feelings were growing for her and put her hand on my bulge. It did get rock hard, but I had a moment where I realized she's only ever been used by men...and came to a belief that love and passion should be at the same time. Must be that foolish " heart of a 30 year old woman" that I sometimes have in my more romantic notions. *sneers*

Molly: No. I'm actually rather glad you didn't use her. She's too young and inexperienced for that.

Jaime: Oh...good. Yes. And I discovered more about myself--yet again. That first I tried a perfectly great friendship, best friends, twins almost: you and I, and I couldn't fuck you for several reasons. Then I found this girl, who's unbelievably hard-on inducing, with a great big belly one can only dream of as a FA...my ideal fantasy girl...and I couldn't take advantage of her (nor fuck her anyway likely) because I did not love her.

So, what does that leave? The woman I fuck each night must be someone I love, who is beautiful and a true friend. So my girlfriend (Molly: his on again off again, lives-in-Canada-while-he's-in-the-US, ex girlfriend at the time he wrote this story) is the closest thing I've come to that.

So either I can have her, and make those things grow now, and into a future. Or I must face the fact that the woman that is of unconditional love--and who is perfect for me--won't exist as a mutual interest until I get my life going and become who I am meant to be. But either path, I need to be in my element and to follow my dreams or I'll be as bitter and forsaken as the rest of the lot.

This was the conversation Candy and I had in the morning on a bench. It was a bit like that movie--"Before Sunrise" or "After Sunset" etc--where the two people have conversations about life and love throughout the entire movie. She and I both came to the conclusion that it starts with unconditional love. If you have that kind of feelings for someone you have to put yourself out there--and hope that they feel the same, because unconditional love returned to you is what everyone should be seeking.