Sunday, August 17, 2008

In Which Jaime Enjoys a Cigarette Before He and Candy Leave the Hotel

If you've been following along, you'll know that Jaime recently went on a trip to NYC to meet his new BBW love, Candy. He told me the whole story one night, and now I'm sharing it with you.

Previously, Jaime had fallen asleep next to Candy, a beautiful and hugely stuffed BBW...

Jaime: I got about an hour's sleep with her like that.

Molly: And then they kicked you out.

Jaime: Ha, not quite. I woke around 3:15--40 minutes before we were to be booted. I was thirsty and in need of a smoke. I also had to take a wicked piss.

I tried stealthily to get out of bed but she [Candy] jolted awake. But wasn't really awake apparently. But she did crawl over to me on the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around me and said, "Mine," and went instantly back to sleep.

I laughed and couldn't move. So I held it for awhile and let her just sleep on me. She didn't recall saying it when she really did wake.

I eventually pried her off and got up and said, "I need a drink, and I'll probably smoke a clove, I shall return." She nodded and went back to sleep. And so I got a ginger ale to settle my stomach and stepped out into the night air.

It was then that I recalled exactly why I loved New York at night. The air was so soothing, in the night and the darkness kind of enveloped me and I smoked my clove with the strange red glow of the street lamps. I loved how so many people were about
but that I was completely in solitude: my own world. You recall Im sure, how I loved to stand out on the balcony and smoke a clove in the middle of night? Well it was that old familiar feeling again and I stayed out there for a good long while.

A black man asked for a light and was as polite as can be about it, which had me laughing a few moments after he left, remembering the huge fat black guy who was gay talking to me and asking for a light at the Broadway.

Molly: Black men always ask you for lights.

Jaime: Yes, they seem to trust me because of the color of my clothes. *sneers*

Molly: Chubby goth boys have matches, I guess.

Jaime: Dear gods, I hope not...

So I got back, and I felt refreshed. I crawled into bed behind her and held her great big belly and kissed her cheek and her neck and her sweet plump lips that she complains are too small, and she was happy. I fell asleep only to wake up to the ever so rude wake up call to boot us out. She was murmuring and went, "Just give them more money..." and handed me 100 dollars.

I went downstairs and there was only one person in line and it was taking 15 goddamn minutes! It said $66 for four hours and thats when it happened: I snapped. My thrift sense was tingling and I refused to pay people that wake us up in the middle of the night to pay more money, nor to have another rude awakening at 7:30 am. I stormed upstairs to a very shocked and distraught reply, "Nooo, why didn't you just pay them!"

I packed our things and said, "It is 4 am now, and they just ruined any chance--at least for me--of sleep and I refuse to be robbed when I'm not even in a shady park or street..." She was half annoyed, half liking that I was in charge.

Molly: But where could you go?

Jaime: Nowhere. We left and I saved her from spending about 200 dollars for a night in the crappiest place ever. We started walking for the trains and it was then that I mentioned the Broadway hostel and how they always had movies all night long and a huge leather couch with a fireplace in the colder seasons...that we could make it there and rest until they took us in to stay at their hostel.

She laughed and went, "Do you know how the subways are on the weekends and especially at 4 am! They're all fucked up, and slow, and it takes forever to get anywhere."

I nodded remembering and said, "Well, we don't have any other choice."

And she said, "Yes, I could leave you here and go home and sleep!"

I laughed and said, "You wouldn't dare. Molly might, but not you..." I called you at 4 am out of frustration of not remembering the hostel address but of course no answer (Molly: This call never showed up on my phone.) I then decided it was 142nd street. we got to the train and some guy was screaming and making noises and hitting on women from the roof directly across from us. I sighed and held Candy close as she smoked a clove out of stress. She remarked as three plump black and spanish girls sat on the bench how it bent against them in a whisper of amazement

I had amazement of a different kind and almost whispered loudly, "Pots and kettles!" but said, "I know, geeze."

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