Monday, June 16, 2008

Exploring Feederism: The Motive

It's been around a year since, on a whim, I decided to visit the Museum of Sex in New York City. As luck would have it, the exhibit was on fetishes, and in between the pony play harness and the furry costume there was a small group of paintings on the wall showing a cartoon woman being force fed until her stomach bulged out.

I started sweating. What had formerly been a mind-expanding stroll through the interesting subcultures of New York had suddenly entered my bedroom. I was almost afraid to look at them, for my desires for the first time were laid bare. Outside of my own private daydreams I had never seen such a thing. Oh, I remember thinking, that's what I think about...!

Then I got to the last panel, where the woman had been fattened to the size of the Goodyear blimp and was colored blue. ...only, um, not like that.

This was my first experience in discovering that even in the kink world there are barriers to what one person will find "hot", and finding my way through the maze of terminology and other people's very personal takes are what inspired me to start this blog. More than anything, I wanted someone to teach and explain a fetish that seemed so rare I wasn't even sure what keywords to use on Google when I was looking for "my porn". I also wanted a way to foster a dialogue between other people that might not even have the kink, but were open to finding out more about it in order to understand what I liked. Stuffing dreams have been an integral part of my sexuality for as long as I can remember, so it stood to reason that someone would eventually stumble upon this aspect of my personality and need an explanation. I'll be the first person to tell you that my particular brand of kink can be rather disturbing (I still haven't been able to sit all the way through that one scene in Spirited Away where a couple gorge on an endless buffet until they bloat up and are transformed into real pigs.)

The great difficulty of explaining feederism to others is acerbated by the fact that I have been finding out about it, mostly through the medium of the internet, for only a year. There is the danger that I simply haven't found an aspect of it, or that something that other people think should be included will be left out. However, I feel like the nature of fetishes is broad, and thus I have striven to try to include as many aspects that I have seen in not a definition, but something that will give someone as new to their desires as I was a "feel" for what feederism might be for them.

So, without further ado, I present Part 1 in what is bound to be a very long series, in which I attempt to show the "why" of feederism. As in,

"Why the fuck would anyone find this sexy?"

That's a bit like asking, "Why are there fetishes at all?", to which I have always turned to Violet Blue's answer: "No one knows." She adds that many fetishes have theories about it, and most of the ones that I've encountered in my wanderings on the internet have been annoyingly out of date, the majority stemming from Freud. Even Newly has told me, "what your fear most becomes what you most desire, so..."

My theory on kink is based more on giving someone who stares in shock at, say, mamabliss' work, a roadmap to understanding how anyone could possibly find shitting, eating, stuffing or bloating a turn-on. I feel that everyone has inside them the raw triggers of pleasure that kink is made of.

There are certain human things that, for whatever reason, are always pleasurable. Eating is pleasurable. Being held tightly is pleasurable. Even peeing is pleasurable, though it's so integral to the experience most people don't even notice until it's pointed out to them. I'm not willing to make the argument that everyone feels these pleasures to the same degree, but most people, even "vanilla" people, have the bare bones of these pleasure centers inside them that can help them understand what brings on that stirring in the loins beyond the often alien images of blimp-like women and very hungry men, which are, after all, meant to be fantasies. From realizing that a certain action brings you pleasure, it's not at all a far step to imagining them as something that will help to get you off.

As is amply illustrated in the video above, even people who aren't into feederism think eating is damn sexy. Even heteros get into the act: whipped cream is supposed to be a preferred "vanilla" sex toy, and I think the manufacture of flavored lubes stems at least partly from the fact that eating is fun, and a warm wet mouth is even better when laced with something sweet. In a now-forgotten issue of Playgirl I once read a fantasy where a woman created a robotic lover that squirted chocolate and strawberry cream instead of sperm. Even the tradition where newlyweds feed each other wedding cake stems from the joyous intimacy of nourishing someone else.

It is all delightfully connected, this hole which is like a mouth which is like a cunt which is like an anus; a picnic where eating leads to kissing leads to sex.

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